Leadership

I expect to pass through this world but once; any good thing therefore that I can do, or any kindness that I can show to any fellow creature, let me do it now; let me not defer or neglect it, for I shall not pass this way again. (Ettiene De Grellet)

Is this perhaps what defines the leadership qualities in each one of us? The last time I looked at this quote was in the memory of my Late Great Aunt Sadie Blankenberg (Nee Williams, nee Naik). She did not have much learning from books, but in my mind she had inherent strength to lead from the bottom up. She could follow through and deliver, giving selflessly – in the family and in the community. It is in this context that I connect with the understanding that my hiatus from the formal structure of the world of work does not really call upon me to take leadership in the grand scheme of things. Maybe one of the things that can explain why I am ‘commanding’ rather than caring or shouting rather than sharing... Sorry.

One topic I have not thought much about in a while is LEADERSHIP. An issue generally close to my heart and often I am faced with the ideas on whom or what constitutes a good leader or leadership. What made me think about it? Another story about the conflict between personal ambition or even insecurity and the ability to grow other people frizzling out to something that is often described as ‘they had a personality clash’ or ‘women just simply cannot get along in the work place’. Yet, it should be about leadership and in the process of taking leadership creating an enabling space for the development and growth of those with talent, potential and passion. Even though I am not in a full-time workplace I can still come to grips with petty insecurities and show leadership practice in being kind, compassionate, supportive and care. (This one from the archives just after I first started writing again.)

Women’s Leadership… Why?
When do we first meet women’s leadership?
Is it when we are born?
Our human being
A choice by a woman to bear us

Is it a real choice or an accident of circumstance?
Many would argue
That choice to be a luxury
Others would say
It is a curse!

In the face of poverty,
AIDS and oppression
You name it!

We first meet women’s leadership
Of the greatest kind
When we watch our mothers and grandmothers raise families
Often the first
Lately the second and third generation

Standing strong
Coping with life’s harshness
Working hard, earning too little
Fighting relentlessly, sometimes indulging too much
Being proud, not willing to ask for help
Having dignity,
Fighting them, but still protecting male mediocrity
Standing tall, falling down, but often
Dying too early

Yet, that is not how we look at women’s leadership

We look for it
Up the corporate ladder
Where many women become men
To survive in a man’s world

Up the public sector ladder
On the Political Party agenda
In the Parliamentary echelons

Up the Institutional ladder
Of the World Bank
The international NGO (Non-Governmental Organization)

Up the academic ladder
Of the University Senates, Research Committees
For academic recognition

In the prayer rooms
Of the Mosque, church, temple and the Synagogue

On the battlefield
Amongst the Generals

Not on the ground being raped
Not at home, protecting it from the bulldozers
Not by the river, looking for the water
Not in the forest, carrying the firewood
Not in the fields, tending the crops
Not in kitchen, cooking to feed the nations
Not in the schools, teaching the next generations

That is where we are!
Give us a decent wage
Give us a fair chance
Create an enabling environment

Break the barriers
Of negative cultures
Inhibiting our growth

Topple the ivory towers
Keeping us in chains

Break the glass ceilings
Keeping us in

Let us take the tools
To control our own lives
The voices, the money, the spaces

Most importantly
Respect us!
Being women, showing courage and leadership
Give us the recognition and the just rewards!

Written by Simone Noemdoe, Monday 1 August 2005

Senses

Every year I have this recurring love affair with the change of season. As a child it used to spell disaster. Allergies, endless trips to the doctor, bundled up in shoes and coats and always having to take the worst home cures! Cod liver oil, Scotch Emulsion (No it really never tasted better even after taking an orange wedge!!) cooking oil and condensed milk, all kinds of indigenous herbs brewed to their strongest levels! Don't forget the jars and jars of dark molasses!

Now, I don't care... I love the trees, collect the fallen leaves, celebrate the flowers! Pick up green leaves and press them in books. When they have the hope to survive I pick some wild flowers... This is the equivalent to the Cape Fynbos Erica (heath) found in the Stockholm Archipelago


Seasoned Sensations
Can you
Smell it
The sweetest tastes
Of spring
Winters’ damp
Once again
Moved away
Summer
Reluctantly
Is on its way
To come and play

Can you
Taste it
Summer’s heat sensations
Spicy
Sticky
Sweet
Romping bare feet
Shade
More than a
Welcome treat

Can you
Catch it
Every season’s promise
Stripped
Bright
Honest
Despite our memories
Every year induces
A novice
Older
Wiser
Nothing but a
Promise

By Simone Beatrice Naik Noemdoe, March 30, 2011.

Stability

Thank you for the very encouraging messages on yesterday's post. Stability is maybe why I want to share one of my random pictures today. Part of the process of moving forward with each day and its new tasks and constant challenges. It is connected to my fascination with trees. They are rooted and yet, most of the time flexible enough to sway with the strongest wind, a stable home for birds and other wildlife, and wise enough to have all kinds of protective measures against predators. I love looking at them and I wonder what kind of stories they could tell, if they had the power of speech. Maybe the question is rather... when will I learn to understand their language?

Now I live in a nation that grows millions of trees. This time of the year the forester and gardener is taking the opportunity to get ready for spring. The hum of a chainsaw is a familiar sound competing with the birds for our sensory attention. Suddenly I catch myself taking pictures of freshly cut tree stumps. It sometimes feels like I’m standing next to a culled elephant. Wisps of wet sawdust clinging to my shoes, like droplets of blood. These colossal stumps are often more than 50 years or even older and suddenly its eco-system services will seize to be. Maybe in a place where people stay in one place for more than one or even ten generations one will see new trees nurtured, maturing and more and more planted…



My romance with trees
It was
A fig tree
I first learnt to climb
To the top
Rewarded
A view of the neighbourhood
The sweetest freshest fruit
Disappearing underfoot
The value of a tree
Something good

It was
On a small platform
In an oak tree
Where I got transported
To mystery coves and lovers’ nests
Climbing up
Was the real test
My fear of heights
With a little bit of reading solitude
Blessed

It was
Under the giant leaves
Of the tree fern
We walked for long hours
At a snail’s pace
The future had only
A happy face
The innocence of our youth
Made hiking in the forest
A perfect place

It is
The living oaks
I count every time
Their telltale signs
Amongst the birch and pines
Easy to find
A childhood romance with acorn husks
Transformed to wedding rings
An island in a trunk ocean
Surviving in a lingonberry patch
Our fascination
Making it a perfect match

By Simone Beatrice Naik Noemdoe, March 29, 2011

Touched by Grief

Today I am very sad, but life moves forward and in my sadness I have to celebrate being alive. Yesterday at a very late breakfast we listened to English hymns and it brought a kind of inner peace and calm over our household. Little were we to know that during that day we will learn about the accidental death of two children. Their drowning (in two separate incidents) is once again a stark reminder of the tenuous nature of life. I seek inspiration to deal with this tragedy for the two families. Both are closely connected to my daughter -- the first (on Saturday) a cousin to her best friend and then next even much closer, the grandson to her most favourite uncle. We weep together for their loss.

Of course, listening the classic hymns from Ancient and Modern took me back to the many mornings in the Chapel at Bishopscourt. Everyone I met during this time (especially Archbishop Emeritus Desmond Tutu and amongst the many clergy the late Fr Francis Cull) touched my life in a very special way. Today I share two quotes from Baba. To me it brings a way to contextualize this kind of loss.

"A person is a person through other persons.
None of us comes into the world fully formed. We would not know how to think, or walk, or speak, or behave as human beings unless we learned it from other human beings. We need other human beings in order to be human. I am because other people are. A person is entitled to a stable community life, and the first of these communities is the family."
— Desmond Tutu

"Dear Child of God, I write these words because we all experience sadness, we all come at times to despair, and we all lose hope that the suffering in our lives and in the world will ever end. I want to share with you my faith and my understanding that this suffering can be transformed and redeemed. There is no such thing as a totally hopeless case. Our God is an expert at dealing with chaos, with brokenness, with all the worst that we can imagine. God created order out of disorder, cosmos out of chaos, and God can do so always, can do so now--in our personal lives and in our lives as nations, globally. ... Indeed, God is transforming the world now--through us--because God loves us."
— Desmond Tutu (God Has a Dream: A Vision of Hope for Our Time)
From: http://www.goodreads.com/author/quotes/5943.Desmond_Tutu

We live
I am alive
But it does not
Make me
Think less of you
Because
You are not any longer

We are alive
Connected through our grief
Emotional seas apart
Etched in my soul
Your loss
Makes me
Less whole

By Simone Beatrice Naik Noemdoe, March 28, 2011

Taking a sicky

Yesterday I took a sicky... not a planned one and it is certainly not my hyperactive self that chooses to sleep in the middle of the day. The rest did me good so this posting can hopefully make up for the missing piece yesterday. There is such a lot going on the world. Water supplies around the Japanese Fukushima Dai-Ichi nuclear plant are threatened and the effects might be lasting on the environment. They say that a little bit of knowledge can be dangerous so I cannot venture any opinion, other than to voice sympathy and concern.

On a lighter note... spring is still evasive in Uppsala, gradually the snow is disappearing and soon we hope to see the first flowers smiling at the world. Today I was unexpectedly invited to lunch at the Uppsala University-based International Science Programme office. A wonderful kind team who made me feel instantly welcome.

Unexpected
More than a smile
We shared over lunch
The odd nervous giggle
Describing
Scary encounters
Busy cities
Gaps penetrate
Citizens and visitors
Unexpected
Safety and security
Critics
Surviving the local
Criminal element

More than a laugh
We shared over lunch
Standard travel tips well received
Watch out
The occasional parking ticket thief
Anonymous
The price of a black-market passport
Racketeer Economist
Survivors of some sort
The honest ones
Almost crying
Defeat

More than a casual connection
We shared over lunch
A natural association
Sweet
Valuable exchange
North and south
Not ruled
By the indiscriminate
Interests criminal
Greater than animate
Learning together
Still
The central element

By Simone Beatrice Naik Noemdoe, For the ISP Team at Uppsala University, 2011-03-25

How to quell a wondering mind?
today i ask you
my reader
a question:
how do you quell a wondering mind?
is there a trick
a special
time and place
to harness the waves
ideas abound
all over the place

instead i will just murmur
ideas present
visions happy and pleasant
like the spring wind
promising rain showers
the odd glimpse
of bright flowers
present waking hours
collating interesting research ideas
old concepts dour

my mind wonders
about things like
my birth-date’s availability via the internet
how old i am
no secret
maybe you can do a horoscope
lining up cosmological charts
all possible
without my consent
the era of the information age
transparent

my mind will wonder
all the time
sometimes i can capture
ideas succinct
new issues distinct
old dreams extinct
what next
you want to think
my wondering mind
will continue to search
occasionally snagging
something good
rather than falling about
digging up rotten roots

By SBNN, 25 March 2011

Eldsjälare = Fire Souls

Eldsjälare = Fire Souls, a term I learnt yesterday and the most interesting thing about it is that in one day I heard it from three different people! It was used in the context of people who are enthusiastic, change agents. Passionate. Altruistic. Selfless. Those who go the extra mile and give generously of their time and energies.

Are you a fire soul?

Fire Souls

A Fire Soul
I’m told
Is a passionate giver
All consuming
Meaningful results
From their lives
Blooming

A Fire Soul
Looks to me
Like a devoted survivor
All embracing
Alive in the moment
Sharing
In their lives
There are
No lifeline sparing

By Simone Beatrice Naik Noemdoe, 23 March 2011.

When no news is good news

I constantly crave to be in touch. To connect. If by any chance I am unable to interact with people, close by or further away, I can so easily have a pity party for one! These interactions are of course what make us human. We seek the attention of others to share ideas and relate in a positive way. But today I feel a bit like I can sometimes live with this expression of "no news is good news". It is the second time in March that I hear of the passing of a strong woman in Africa. Taken too young and even though it is only the third month of the year, this is the 3rd time I get this kind of news. Yes, it is inevitable that we will all have to follow that path one day, but it is still sad to hear about their deaths.

Leadership Lost

We pick our battles
And fight them
Sometimes
Doing nothing
Is also a tactic
Women
Remaining
Unseen
Unhurt
Surviving
Inert

We create our victories
Our daughters
Can follow
The path wider
Like the trail
Beaten by an elephant cow
Women
Bearing
Enduring energies
Futuristic legacies

We create our stories
Gradually
Others will tell it
Our demise
Every so often
Too soon
Natural leadership
Un-festooned
Your memory
Never
Doomed

By Simone Beatrice Naik Noemdoe, 22 March 2011, another message of the passing of a comrade and LEADer. In the memory of Dr. Naomi Mdzeke

Action, Movement, Change

Action requires movement and this in turn maybe brings about change. Life is like that and if we do not move, maybe we won't experience some change. In Japan, thousands if not hundreds of thousands are threatened by the actions of a Reactor. In Libya, thousands have to react to an erupting war. Tensions below the surface bubbling up calling for Reaction of a different kind. How are the two examples even connected? It is not except it replaces each other on the world news headlines and I ask myself... do we need another war in this world? I remember two quotes I had on my wall growing up... one went like "for the tortoise to move, it has to stick its neck out" and the other one was "in war everyone is a victim". What more is there to say?

In Uppsala we are still expecting the spring to happen any time now. The first spring flowers stuck up for itself against the cold yesterday and it was a welcome relief after the almost 5cm of snow on Friday. I took on the shoveling, one of the few times this winter! Changing seasons always seem like a time to consider renewal of some kind. Winter to Spring, Summer to Autumn and if we live in places where the contrasts are stark and visible, we can somehow find a way to cope with its gifts and curses! I tried to find a picture of spring flowers in my collection, instead I offer this picture of an apple I took in Rorvik, a small village next to a lake in the Småland in the South of Sweden.


In contrast to the musings about change I am reminded that we are celebrating Human Rights Day in South Africa. A day to remember and cherish the battles we lost and won in pursuit of freedom! Our quest for change is ongoing. Transforming hundreds of years of oppression whilst struggling with the daily challenges of survival.

What can we do?
“We cannot eat democracy”
Is what I heard
Some people were reported
To have said
Whom?
Where?
When?
I can’t tell
They must have had
Their own motivation
Who am I
To judge
Their disillusion

“We cannot consult all the time”
Is what I heard
Some people said
Tired
Of the endless public meetings
Questioned?
Challenged?
Angered?
Democracy too costly
The protestors too motley
Maybe the kickbacks
Slowly becoming
A dream remotely

“We cannot wait any longer”
Is what we all said
When I grew up
Freedom’s gifts
We went after
Democracy
Human Rights
Peace
Emancipated
Liberated
Words kind
Suddenly
The global village
Comes with new borders
Survival of the fittest
Still
An old world order
Leaving us
Mostly blind

By Simone Beatrice Naik Noemdoe, 21 March 2011. Human Rights day will always keep me thinking.

Connections
We look for connections
Across cultures
Within communities
Within families
Our search
Continues
Sometime with results
Mostly with only
Partial satisfaction
Without clear intension
Direction

We look for connections
Inside ourselves
Bringing history to pass
My nose like my fathers’
My hands like my mother’s
A sense of taste
Like a long-dead
Grandmother
It is only a guess
But it is there
Tangible and intangible
Familiar
Indispensable

We look for connections
Life partners
Someone
At least socially acceptable
Who can bear the brunt
Give support
Share love
Put ourselves before ‘
No one else above
A constant quest
Sometimes
Easily behest
A permanent houseguest
Treated with the utmost respect
We find
A soul with a like-mind
Incredible

We look for connections
It is
A constant search
A leader in the pack
Every new find
A set of common principles
We bind
Friendship, trusted deep
The list to keep
Growing smaller
As the years heap
A constant quest
New connectors
Resurrected

By Simone Beatrice Naik Noemdoe, Wednesday, 21 October 2009

On a path
You are finding your way
Nineteen, twenty and a little bit older
All
Already with some burden
Some sleight
Other’s
Much more heavy
In all cases of growing up
It will take you to a place
When all the choices
Is only yours
To carry

You are using
Knowledge as weapons
Skills to gain
Minds independent
Brilliant
Resplendent
The world at your feet
Young blood
Full of heat
Innocent minds
Sentiments sweet
Judgements in this generation
Less replete

You are walking the path
We all did
More freedoms
We were unable to
At that age see
In hindsight
We all can
Wise choices repeat
Dominating partners
With intellect defeat
Seek out and discover
Inner strength
Act with confidence
It might just be
Experiences
Unique

By Simone Beatrice Naik Noemdoe, Wednesday, 21 October 2009 – for the young women in the world, particularly those who live in the isolated rural areas and inner cities of the south and north... seek a new way and grow progressively.

Poverty, development, other stuff

Living in a university town is very interesting. One can always find a way to engage in the academic endeavour. Yesterday I attended a seminar where the speaker’s task was to talk about the construct of poverty, something that is very close to my heart. Earlier in the day I shared with a friend the pain of knowing that millions of girls around the world drop out of school because the sanitation services fails them. It brings to mind my own early years of school sanitation – a misnomer really in our case. Two stalls for girls in a school of more than 700 children, cemented to the ground with no paper and a tap where we had to drink water and wash our hands. It is a miracle we survived. I think I still have the habit of trying not to use the loo because it was better to wait until we got home. There I only had to share it with about 20 people. No wonder that I am always worried about clean toilets and washing my hands all the time!

Back to poverty… the discussion ended largely on whether the way we determine if people are poor or not is valid or not. The old Human Development Index. The Indicators with which to measure if we are making progress in fighting poverty and if people are able to claw their way out of poverty. How long is it before they slip back or can they be rid of the worry forever? Millions of books have been written. Hundreds of journals give scholars the chance to debate the issues and billions of dollars are being spent on interventions to lift the poor from their dismal state, yet we are told that in most countries the gap between rich and poor is widening. Maybe broadening the indicators, finding the qualitative richness of the un-measured elements of our lives like measuring happiness and shame will give us more hope for the future. I’m not too sure. I’m tired of talking and would like to see more action, which can in turn breed more action. Am I an idealistic dreamer? Maybe not, we as a family managed to move from poverty to a better life.

They don’t know how

They don’t know how
To meet the needs
Of the masses
Who sit in ashes
Dirty water
Piles of shit
Through their greed
Declaring them unfit
To meet the needs
Of the working, unemployed
Not by the bickering overjoyed

They don’t know how
To go to the ground
Empowering women and children
To take control
To chase away the hunger
The heat and the cold
Fighting disease
Making choices
As they please
Instead of following
The collective majority
Where to piss and eat
Always on the sidelines
Suffering neglect
Poverty's defeat

They don’t know how
To do the simplest things
There are no expectations
That the interventions
Should be charitable acts
Locals know
Where their reality is at
Is it lost
Despite
A constitutional pact

They don’t know how
Pretending
Not to see
The history of nations
Telling us
It is only against our own
That we turn
When we choose
To only follow them
Who is not brave
To say
It is more than just
The raw power we crave
When through the lack of basic needs
Missed by “pro-poor” interventions
Finding our early grave
The poor will remain
From meaningful development depraved

By Simone Naik, in response to David writing about diarrheal outbreak in Mpumalanga Province South Africa in the wake of new leadership elections for the African National Congress, 20/12/07

Inspiration

Today I received very good news from a dear friend in Cape Town. I share her happiness to be part of a development programme that will give her the chance to celebrate her gifts of love, compassion, perserverence and the list is much longer... Congratulations! It will also call on her to give time and energy without pay and that is such an inspiration to me! I am humbled. Once more a reminder that nagging about the smallest discomforts should be thrown out the window!

More good news! The sun is shining and even though it is -7 degrees C. daylight hours are getting longer and there is a different energy in the air. I go in search of writing about sunshine, but instead I find this piece about rain. I'll have to find a moment to create something about sunshine.

RAIN

Have you ever
Had the pleasure
Of playing in the rain
Barefoot
With the mud
Squishing between your toes
Running the risk
Of getting a hiding
Since you are still
Nursing a cold
From the last
“Playing in the rain”
Episode

Can you imagine?
The wind in your hair
On that sailing boat
As it sets off
In the gutter
A popsicle stick
Anything that will float
Transporting me away
Swift like my feet
Running up and down
Despite the cold rain
Playing
An easy children’s game

Do you recall
That mad dash
To beat the instant downpour
When you accidentally slipped
Stepping in that puddle
Plonked on the ground
Not a dry spot
On your body found
The precious belongings soaked
Against the elements
We have no reproach
Next time please don’t forget
Your umbrella and coat

With peals of laughter
I can remember
Getting dressed
To play in the rain
A well planned escape
From being cooped up
No space to play
Despite the cold
We snuck out
Never a thought
To the risks it brought
Playing in the rain
Was the best
When we were lucky
Not to get caught

By Simone Naik, 22 January 2007

In the meantime this can be an interpretation of sunshine...

Shared Laughs

Shared laughs
Are blessings we can cherish
Feeling burdened
Can quickly fade
Sometimes completely perish
When working too hard gets us under
We are well bade
To set some
“Me time” asunder

Shared laughs
I bring with relish
Giving a little bit of how I survive and operate
Through tough days
Filled with people acting garish
Knowing that you laugh with me
Sets me free
From those who easily frown and berate
You are always welcome to celebrate
It is a permanent
Giggling fulfilled date

SBN, 8 October 2008.

Journeys

Even when we least feel like taking a trip we seem to be on a journey. Finding a comfortable chair to sit, a good book to read, a fine view to enjoy... all in the course of the journey of life. Sometimes the destination is sure and clear, but most of the time we have a general idea of the route and suddenly the path becomes twisted with too many expectations and too little resources. This year my Lenten journey is calling on me to find an inner peace, if not only in the context of my spiritual journey, but...

as I was writing this earliert today, my computer went on the blink and suddenly I am struggling with a very bad virus. Maybe I should condsider it as a twist in the road.

The journey for most in Japan is filled with trepidation in the aftermath of their disaster. We are all connected in this human suffering. My prayers still go out to them and everyone around the world who are affected.

Journeys
The disappearing light
Leaves a sadness in its wake
Sometimes
We all need
From life
A little break

The disappearing pain
Leaves room for happiness
Most times
We all need
In life
What we can take

The disappearing years
Leaves some wisdom
Always
We all need
From life
This important state

The disappearing beauty
Leaves inner acceptance
Hoped
We all need
From life
A reassuring safe place

By SBN, 15 March 2011

Monday Musings

I hope the weekend went well for all of you. We were also glued to the TV following the disaster and unfolding drama of the impact of the earthquake and tsunami. Earth's energy, force and power is fascinating. It seems like humanity is made to challenge its authority and over time we are paying the price... reacting to the unknown.

Prepared
Being
Well prepared
Will never be
Prepared enough
It seems

When nature strikes
The highest hills
Most safe
More lost
There is no true value on human cost

An earth shattering quake
Rushing black waves
Instantaneous
Lingering
An everlasting pain

Recovery
A slow process
Miracle survivors victorious
Heroic tales entrance us
Explosive questions continue to guide thee

By Simone Noemdoe (14 March 2011). 2011 Japanese Earthquake and Tsunami. A massive 8.9/9.0 magnitude earthquake hit the Pacific Ocean nearby Northeastern Japan at around 2:46pm on March 11 (JST) causing damage with blackouts, fire and tsunami. On The large earthquake triggered a tsunami warning for countries all around the Pacific ocean. http://www.google.com/crisisresponse/japanquake2011.html

Affected
Every time the earth jolts
We are all affected
Whether
Safe on our couches
Sipping tea
The images of destruction
Bring to our hearts
Deep felt
Empathy

Every time the earth coughs
We are all affected
Human suffering
Inflicted
Brings no release
With survivors
We dance and sing
The lost
We bury with dignity
Saving only the best
Memories

By SBN, 14 March 2011.

On 8th March we celebrated International Women'd day... I found this contribution on women...

Woman Undefined
Can you listen
To my pain
Sensual woman
Understanding
My needs
Successful business woman
When you happen
To look
At my pockmarked skin
Puffy cheeks and broken teeth
The tell-tale signs
Too little too eat
Too much to drink
Dulled
My image you wipe away
Yours,
I keep

Are you
Celebrating yourself
Educated woman
Classroom battles won
Family skirmishes
Outrun
A new generation of waged slaves
We’ve become
Incomplete
When I cum
Excellence
Too often defined
Against the values
Of the male
Broken trunk

We don’t
Philosophy
We live
Successful woman
Healed
Educator
Loved
Street Sweeper
Embraced
Sweatshop slave
Freed
Flesh trader
Salvaged
My shame
Banished
My laughter
Like broken bells ringing
My soul hopeful
Sensuous woman
Me?
Thinking…

By Simone Beatrice Naik Noemdoe, 25 August 2010

Tasks

Ah a blue sky.... and even as the sun is fading over the forest there is a promise of spring in the air. The birch trees are slowly getting ready to shoot their leaves and my hands are itching to get the soil ready. I'm told our composting bins are doing their work (I'm still stuck inside and out of the wet garden...) soon I will be digging and planting and fighting off the deer. They like lettuce, but are not very excited about potatoes and onions...


Yours truly harvesting potatoes during the summer of 2010.

I scratch in the my patch of writing and this is the one that I'm sharing with you today...

Rewards

The dry grass blades
Cuts me
Like shards of glass
Resisting
Stuck
In deep clay soil
As if
There will be
A spring reward
After a vicious
Winter toil

The Birch trees
Shimmer
Basking in the gentle
Spring sun
Peaceful
Like cathedral stained glass
I almost believe
They are transparent
Charged positive
With natures’ invisible
Eclectic current

Bird twitter
Compete
With the radio pop overtones
The computer motor undertones
It calls for a silence
I think
I cannot endure
Too peaceful
Sometimes
To sleep
With simple abundance
There is no reason
To weep

By Simone Beatrice Naik Noemdoe, 20 May 2010

Special Days

Today marks the beginning another year in my biological calendar. The good wishes have been coming in since early this morning and I am blessed with lots of family and friends who make my world a special place.

THANK YOU FOR ALL YOUR LOVE...


Gardenias (Katjiepierings) are my favourite flowers, something I shared with my mother. (I recall that her nickname was Katjiepiering.)
Picture: Simone Noemdoe.

Special Days
Another year gone
Gradually
Fewer souls with whom to celebrate
All my siblings still intact
A love to savour
The occasional skirmish
I’ll like childhood memories
Favour

Another year to rejoice
One above the other
I’ll not belabour
Gradually gaining wisdom
To be
My own best neighbour
Winter in my bones
Summer in my laughter
Pain in a grave
Lover, enabler

Another year to think
Maybe some new ideas
Generate
Future issues
Contemplate
Closer connections
Navigate
Time and space
Taste
In this world
For me still
A place

By Simone Noemdoe 9-10 March 2011.

Perspectives

The English Dictionary (at least on my computer gives me an number of synonyms for "Perspective"... i just list a few here ... viewpoint, perception, standpoint, outlook, side... The question I want to ask today is: How willing are we to change our perspective on things as we grow older. Do we become more entrenched in our thinking and do we have to be convinced? Do we actually take the time to look for or listen to the other point of view? I suppose looking at this today is more a reflection in terms of understanding my own attitude towards perspective, or do we rather get trapped in the context of perception. Attitudes built on perception leaves it a bit open because perception is based on emotion and not necessarily on 'clinical facts'. Like we used to say in the old days... it was there in black and white! Why so philosophical? Another year on the biological calendar is coming to and end. Tomorrow I celebrate the start of a new year closer to the end. It was around the same time (I see now) March 11th when I feel like I really wrote one of my first serious pieces... after a long break (almost 20 years)

We hold lots of viewpoints on many issues, each issue can have many sides, so maybe I am reminding myself that perhaps I should guard against insisting that 'my perspective' should be the only one holding center stage.

Poem with no title

Without my shoes
I lie with my toes
Pointing to the sky

Knocked down
Because I took a risk
To cross the R300

How old am I?
What was my job?
What will they say?
When they get the news

Someone's father
A brother
A son

Absent, no news
Who must be told?

Blue lights
Blue uniform
Cold message
Cold shoulder

Cold winter
Without a breadwinner
No support

Maybe relief
Maybe not

The funeral
Will take place
Tears and sadness
Will pass

Every day
They will
Still do it
Cross the R300

Play with death
Oblivious to the loss on March 11, 2005
Of the man
Knocked from his shoes

Toes and eyes
Pointing to the sky

Written by Simone Noemdoe on 11 March 2005 on her way home on the R300 from Bellville just after 7pm with the fading light of the day and Tracy Chapman on the radio.

In Memory Of...
On Monday it drove me crazy when I could not find this piece of writing to post in memory of my friend Boniswa Adeline Mangcu.

Power-full Women

We can find them
Power-full women
In the history books
Serving the madams
As child-minders and cooks
Serving nations
As sell-outs
Social and political crooks
When they forget
Many others
Contributing
But too insignificant
To ever make it
Into their good books

Today, I dull the thoughts
Of the sell-outs
And celebrate
My warrior women
Grandmother slaves
Mothers struggling
I celebrate
Power-full women
Who live each day
To a moral code
That leaves me in awe
Their life lessons
I have safely stored

We can find them
Power-full women
In the garden trenches
In the public sector board rooms
Fighting the battles
Of the HIV + (positive)
The Bureaucrats
Of the life – (negative)
Protecting the virtues
Of the next generation
Precious
With vigour and strength
No sign
Of task dereliction

Today, I recall memories
Of our connections
Arguing back and forth
Never losing sight
Of our social responsibility
To take up the fight
On behalf of
The downtrodden
Forgetting it was us
Who climbed with millions of others
On this bus
Of life
Remembering to live
For in your lives
You celebrate me
Our connection
Precious and free

For Ethne and Boniswa, Enkosi, Sisi, Umama. Amandla! Ndi yaku thanda wena! By Simone Naik (Noemdoe), 28 March 2008

Sunshine and Wind

We always go back to that ... be careful what you pray for... What is she talking about? Well, the other day I said I missed Cape Town and today the sun is shining and... the wind is blowing. OK... there is not a lot of sand and it is not howling, but give a woman with imagination a break!
Yesterday I talked about Fat Cotton playing at our house once a week so in case you are wondering who it is... here is a link to their website... http://www.fatcotton.com/


anything but blue

Fat Cotton blues
Haunts me
Yearning to capture your energy
Ripping through your soul
Blues blood
Makes you somehow
In tune
Deep family connections
More whole

Fat Cotton blues
A rehearsal
Mostly other’s beats
Completely different
Through your feet
For me an easy
Mental treat
Life in your instruments
Never cries
Defeat

Anything but blue
It seems
From the daily grind
Rapidly recuperating
Occasional
Original tunes
Collective instincts
Rejuvenating
Playing
So much better
Than a life spent
Ruminating

For Per, Anders and Tomas… go on playing

Monday night Blues

Fat Cotton is doing its thing upstairs and the blues is beating through the house. A lazy rhythm eases the tension of the day away and lulls the pain of sad news. A good friend and colleague passed away. Boniswa Adeline Mangcu, lived, loved, survived!

An Accusation
An accusation
Came to me - third hand
I cared too much for you
It was easy to care
Your gifts to me
Were much more
Living life
In the here and now
You flagrantly dared

I stand accused
First hand
Even caring like mine
Could never be enough
For the burden you carried
You were much tougher
Life’s small idiosyncrasies
Sometimes made us
Occasionally
With wild abandon
Laugh

We are all guilty
Second-hand living
Half-hearted giving
Breathing
With expectations riddled
Our incongruous lives
Brittle
Collective memories
Somehow stronger
I stand accused
No longer

By Simone Beatrice Naik Noemdoe, 7 March 2011, in memory of Boniswa Adeline Mangcu, Long Live your memory!

This one comes to mind...

Fragile

Fragile
Handle with care
Right side up
Sometimes
Upside down
Don't lose your crown

Fragile
Handle with respect
Upside down
I wear my crown
Sometimes
Don't hide your frown

Fragile
Sometimes
Hiding my frown
Downside up
As light as a clown
With a smile
Painted on
Who can be down

Fragile
Painted on
Right side up
With a smile
Hiding my frown
Am I the clown
Sometimes

By Simone, 14 August 2007

Roti and Curry

Today I cook roti and curry, Naik-style... beef curry with potatoes it will be... It has been a while since I wrote about food. Part of my culture, intrinsic to my upbringing, inherent in my soul. A love for food. I am addicted... the conviction of my family. A food market is like a jewelry store! Every little bit of fresh produce equivalent to the 'bling' of diamond. No place for food snobs either. It can be rustic, bold or dainty... I remember many hours of decorating Nanna's fancy's. Koesisters and Roti's a saviour in times of unemployment... a welcome income with a market interested in the same tastes as mine.

Comfort Food
What kind of comfort food
Do you like?
Over and over
The question mulls in my head
Almost like a mantra
That I religiously chant

The kind of comfort food
That you will eat
Two o'clock in the morning
Sitting down in the middle
Of the street
The kind you will
Seek desperately
Even if you have to
Ask for it in "Greek"

Ice cream is high
On my list of priorities
To get it I will easily forego
Buying some silly trinket
Or the family meat

With a good roti and curry*
You can easily entice me
But not as easily as with Mamma Bieba's**
Koeksister recipe
A really special treat

Comfort food
We introduce from generation to generation
Making the skill of its making
An inheritor’s treasure
And its special preparation
Part of our rituals
With love and no trepidation

I am sure you
Don't spend much time
Thinking about the question
"What kind of comfort food do I like?
So, next time you have
"That special treat"
With that favourite person
Spare a thought
For my comfort food
Treasuredly, to be shared with you

09/09/06, cooking Roti and curry** and Indian dish of fried flat bread with curry. Koeksisters is a donut that is popular in the Cape Malay community made with aniseed and sugared and rolled in coconut.

MEMORIES LOST AND FOUND
Why do we sometimes
Suppress the good memories
With the bad
Like the time we went
Hiking on Table Mountain
And I wet my hair
Under the waterfall at Breakfast Rock

Or like the time
When we went canoeing
On the Vlei
And I was so scared of falling in
And you eased my fear
With lots of jokes
And I laughed till the tears
Streamed down my face
And we found ourselves
Drifting gently
On the afternoon breeze

Or the time
When we were lying
On our backs outside in Bainskloof
Watching the stars in the sky
Catching the odd satellite
Breezing by
Sharing ideas of
Where we will be
When we grow up
After school and varsity

Maybe it is because
We are ashamed
That we stopped doing
Most of the things
That did not cost much
But gave us endless
Hours of joy and pleasure
Sharing love and friendship
With freedom unconditionally

Maybe it is because
Our lives moved on
With time we disconnected
We feel too guilty
For not being in touch
With those who at the time
Meant so much to us
That we had hoped
They will forever be there
To share with
And for us to show them
That we care

I will from now on
Remember and cherish
Those special moments
And try with time to recapture
The same exhilarating feelings
In those briefest moments experienced
Part of my remembrance it will be
Part of my realisation that
Suppressing the good memories
Was a cage I built around me

By Simone Noemdoe, 17 September 2006

Drawn into the fray

Way down South, the Cape is where I'm from and being thousands of kilometers away does not leave me immune to the happenings there... Racism, a constant quest to defend where we come from... we are still battling to protect a birth-right of place. The upcoming local government elections, like in almost every election since the start of the end of Apartheid, becomes a platform for putting people in boxes. Men in suits discuss the place of people in a nation and in camps we divide. How about just being? South Africa and the world is still battling Apartheid. (There is currently a raging political fight about amendments to the Employment Equity Act and unconstitutional remarks in South Africa.)

Somehow we always knew it will take more than changing laws to change the way people think. Every battle won in breaking down barriers between people is another place for a skirmish to start... What about struggling students with no health insurance? What about aging grannies who have to raise grandchildren whose parents died because of the HIV/AIDS pandemic? What about millions of people who are stuck in the spiral of alcohol abuse and making addicted babies who will struggle to attain basic literacy levels? How about the world that is a global village outsourcing jobs to the next cheapest production spot, rising unemployment in the global south? Why not put our energies to dealing with the looming environmental crisis?

Are these the rants of an idealist?

WHO AM I?

Who am I ?
You wonder out loud
Am I sister coloured
To you brother black
Some Indian
But it is definitely not
Outright that
Why do you want me to be
In your categories caught
Reduced to a number
Historically naught

Who am I?
You wonder out loud
Argumentative
Sometimes
Plain quarrelsome
Definitely colourful
Not common and dour
An existence
In little boxes sour

Who I am?
I am sure
Black of mixed decent
No reason to pretend
My genes not paying any sinful rent
A life free
That I completely
Embrace with glee
What you prefer to in me see
Does not bother me

Who I am?
Not by ethnicity defined
Nor by the salty tears I cry
Every time a graze my knee
In life’s little skirmishes
We struggle to distinguish
Embracing my freedom to express
Despite momentary anguish
The way my eyes the world see
Regretfully still with prejudice of course
Idealistic creating less remorse
Living forward
With good cause

By Simone Naik, 27 November 2007

Written a while ago, it still holds true.

Other Bloggers

Suddenly I am part of this internet community. Access to the fast invisible super-highway, throwing out ideas with the hope that someone will connect and read what I write. I am also more aware of other's writing. Mainly following bloggers who produce interesting crafts and sharing their ideas and tutorials. There are also others I discover that do some interesting work like the guy from Australia sharing his photography blog darren@problogger.net (Something I still want to do when I grow up, not be a guy but take pictures of course!)

I guess I am not longer just stuck in my little office with the world beyond my window. By the way... like we say on the Cape Flats, today the sun is out and it promises to be warmer... The internet made us learn a whole new language and from my archive in from 2006.

Down-load

How do you down-load
Acquaintance
Do you go way
For a weekend
Pony rides and foofy slides

How do you down-load
Acquaintance
Do you wake up at 1-am
Making mental maps
About product ideas
Questioning peers

How do you down-load
Acquaintance
Playing with little ones
Having fun with mum
Kissing and hugging in the sun

Downloading so important
Acquaintance
Give the brain a mental break
To be present
Loving life
Asleep or awake

17/10/06

Roaming

My mind is roaming and at the same time I'm required to keep focus and be busy with one project... I always quote the quote.. "Be careful what you pray for.. (By Larry Dossey, M.D. New York, N.Y.: HarperCollins Publishers, 1997). So, now there is some focusing required on my part...

It is fun to be busy with an intellectual challenge, focus on one idea and following a path that has been chosen for me in order to complete shakes me from a comfort zone. A shake-up that is long overdue!
In the meantime it is great to have the complimentary freedom to create (like writing or freestyle quilting). The potential and then finding the right combination to make a product possible.

Picture 1 has already been shaped. A touch and feel kind of design. Colours complementing, maybe even clashing...



Picture 2 is full of potential. What to make with a rich treasure of colours and textures. Just like ideas from writing.


Roaming minds...
There is an empty room in her head. She tried to fill it up with things, but it seems to grow its emptiness like multiplying bacteria, billions doubling exponentially. All the daily thoughts cannot fill this space, everyone else seem to be busy with their own things.

The room is no longer empty, but filled with continuous flowing ideas. To quell them, even in her dreams are almost a complete impossibility, except maybe, when she keeps her hands busy and her mind occupied with watching empty comedies or cooking soulful soups, reading loaned books, talking about political crooks, dusting un-used nooks, staring at strangers with vacant looks...

More next time...

Getting ready

Yes, it is the March 1, 2011... Nothing much to say about the passing of time. March is my birth month so it is that time of the year I start adding up the higher numbers. Off the calendar, but still on the lotto ticket! Time to get ready for Lent. What to give up, reflect on what to change...

diversity -- late night reality

A throwback gene
The theme of the late-night movie… Skin
A little girl… woman
Trapped
White
Is not black
It looks black
But
It is not black
Black is coloured
And coloured is not black
Am I
Through Skin
By my appearance
Defined

Nina Simone sings about it
Desmond Tutu preaches about it
Nelson Mandela almost sacrificed his life for it
Freedom
From the labels of our hair and skin
Protected by our diversity
Every human being
Facing daily adversity
Perceptions
The greatest of which
Most
Seldom bothered
By the race question’s itch

Throwback genes
Gives me the instinct
To move my hips
Twist my hair
Eat with my hands
Sit on the floor
Stand in awe of the sun and moon
Love the deep intensity of yellow and red
Worship Spring’s innocence
Spice and meat on an open fire
Communion with others
Sharing laughter and life even with a stranger
Diversity my contribution
In open defiance
Constantly cherishing
My ancestor’s gifts

By Simone Noemdoe, 1 March 2011